like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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