As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
foreskin is a definite game changer
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
