I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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