She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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