She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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