nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
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