Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
