If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
