So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
