It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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