Non-Jews are for practice
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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