If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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