In the future we'll all be gay
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm too high and old for this...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
