I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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