Old men and throwing up are my life now.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
