watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We left the knife in your bed.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
