yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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