I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
