Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
