The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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