ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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