1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
