i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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