Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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