There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
