i just google imaged poop.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
