I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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