I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
