That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
