Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
