no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
