so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
