there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
