im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
