i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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