so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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