i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
being pregnant is like rehab
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife đŹ
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing âHappy Birthdayâ to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, âWhy didnât you sing along?!?â I responded, âI donât know him. I donât give a shit if he has a happy birthday.â
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