My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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