I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
