I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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