Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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