I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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