that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
