just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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