Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
that is very illegal...i love you.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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