i was born a porn star she said
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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