We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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