U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
