you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
