Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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