Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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