if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Come on in and take your pants off
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